When my sister left this earth she left a mark on EVERYBODY. She left a mark everywhere she has ever been and on everyone she has ever known. I believe that everything she was, and is, is admired and appreciated. Everybody knew Princess Diana. She was admired for her beauty, her strength, and the remarkable love that she had for others.

That’s why I compare Ari to Princess Diana. Not only in the way she lived her life, but also in the way she left this earth. She left in a way that nobody would ever forget. The trust she had in her driver, the crash itself, the people she left behind and the trauma they went through.

Ariana was selfless, and she would literally give the shirt off her back to anybody, so she was like a princess to all, a Queen even, our Queen of Hearts.

When she passed she was everywhere. On everybody’s Facebook, Instagram and even on their cell phones. It was so difficult seeing pictures of her. There were memories that people were posting and pictures of her that I hadn’t seen in forever. It was hard. Seeing those pictures was hard.

The hardest thing about seeing her face was seeing my face. Every day for 365 days I have looked in the mirror. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw her. I saw her tears, her eyes, her mouth, her nose, I saw everything in her, in me. How many people can say that?

Every time I would vent about what I was going through somebody’s response would always be “I understand”. Do you? You don’t understand. I always had to take a step back and keep my composure, so that I didn’t release all the anger I had built inside of me. But I just knew that the people around me couldn’t relate, I thought that nobody would ever be able to.

People thought they could understand. But… do you know what it’s like to have people ask you all your life, “Which twin are you?” Having someone trying to figure out which one had died… Do you know how hard it is to look in the mirror and now only see half of you?”

They would come up to me and say, “Hey twin”. This was the hardest, because it was a constant reminder of my loss; a loss that no one else could understand. Nobody could possibly see what I saw every time I looked in the mirror. All I could see was her, my twin, my soul, the Queen of my heart.

When you look in the mirror, you see your reflection. Your face, and only yours, looking back at you. My vision is different. You can’t see my face when you look in the mirror. I shared a reflection with only one person who could ever understand. Now, all I have are pictures, videos, and mirrors.