I had a dream about your wedding day. The day that will never come to be. Your wedding started at 11:30 am for some odd reason. You had worked so much that week (as usual) that you had to settle on a dress. On the way to the venue we pulled up and you told mom and dad that you weren’t satisfied. You said that somebody mentioned that they had dresses at Marshall’s! I’m like “Ari really?” It was 11:10 at this point. I turned to you and asked you if you wanted to go look even though we were going to be late. You looked at me with this death stare and I already knew that you meant serious business. So no more questions we went on our way. You  were driving and it was raining, in my dream I felt anxiety that I wanted to protect you because I wanted you to make your wedding day. I told you to pull over and I’d drive, I felt more comfortable driving rather your nerves get the best of you and we somehow get in an accident. But in this dream there was a cross between reality and fantasy. I had anxiety in this dream because somehow I knew it was a dream. I wanted you to let me drive because of the real reality that somebody who didn’t care enough for your life was driving you. I could of just driven you and all the things that I ever wanted for you could of happened.

I don’t even know why I had this dream of your wedding day. I just know we got to that store and found a dress. So you had two dresses that day. I called mom and dad to make sure of how many guests arrived and we made it back by noon. Your guests saw you walking back with me as we were prepping to get you dressed, and they said you looked so beautiful. You were the light to them. You did look beautiful, you are beautiful. You also didn’t mind if I wore white myself. In the end of my dream we talked in reference that you weren’t here. So I asked, “Ari is it ok if I wear white too? I just want to represent your life.” You responded, “of course I want you to”.

I didn’t know what that meant until I woke up, like why was I wearing white on her wedding day. I know that you’re not supposed to do that, it’s frowned upon. So I looked the meaning up, there was a couple:

White is the color of purity, to dream of a white dress is connected to your emotions. Within your dream, you may be attending a wedding or wearing the white dress yourself, which means that things are going to be restful for some time.

To see a wedding in your dream symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. A wedding reflects your issues about commitment and independence. Alternatively, your wedding dream refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Such dreams are often negative and highlight some anxiety or fear.

Ari, I know that you have transitioned to a new life. But I really wish you hadn’t so quickly. I love you.